my own piece of mind

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

hey(O.o)

4:22A.M. on a wednesday n the 2nd day of the month, March.

had done up lill of my UMS proj thru the nite.. now waiting for time to pass n off i'll go to sch.. but.. erm high percentage i will fall asleep somewhere.. humph.. school term had been moved forward n everything is crashing onto week 14 n 15.. thank goodness those lecturers are still gracious ppl, few of them had allowed us to submit the proj after our common test.. wad a lucky thing.. but nonetheless we are still rushing like hell.. Y? coz we din start early n Y that? coz lazy..!

kk.. had a headache in sch today.. humph.. wad's worst of quiting the smoking habit? it is not for how many months or years u can go without tt ciggs.. it is the pureheart over all the past senses of smoking, strength to overcome the thoughts of addiction, determination to withhold ur hands from that stix. well kinda easy to say? yup saying is always easier than breathing.. had a bad headache today in sch, well thought was the addiction i m getting from those ciggs.. argh.. there are still ppl around me smoking.. wad can i possibly do.. i tried to move away from them, i try not to meet up with ppl who smokes so tt i dun get myself into tt habit again.. i held my breath whenever i walked pass the overhead bridge to my sch.. but they are still everywhere.. wad can i possibly do..? a fren said that he had once stopped smoking for 2 years.. but then he was back into smoking again after tt till now.. hey hey 2 years! n he was back to smoking? tt really made me wonder y? ppl took the years of pain to stop themselve from getting back into habit but at the end they submit to its temptation again.. this fren told me that "once a smoker it will be hard to kick it off, especially the temptation of seeing those ppl around u smoking".. humph kinda true.. tt influence was strong n hard.. it had been 3 months after my last ciggs, thought it had been quite long since i was clean from smoking.. anyway for all this while i thought i m strong enuff n there were no addiction into that thing.. but just came to realize tt i was kinda wrong.. had been thinking n analysing thru this stuff.. addiction comes from our pass memories, when the ppl around us smokes we had a visual of how we used to smoke, how the puff was taken, wad kind of ciggs, the reasons that we smoke.. this tempts us to take a stix b'coz of our present situation, b'coz of our present emotions, b'coz of the thoughts tt was in our memories. next to come is the symptons, the runny nose, the headaches, all these symptons was not recognized as normal fatigue of the body but rather as symptons of addictions, when these comes n we acknowledges it as symptons of addiction, then surely we will pick the cigg up again.. all this was so fresh in me.. yup yup it just happened yest during lunch humph.. all these came to me .. argh.. thank god for his strength i m able to pull my hand off from touching any ciggs.. but nonetheless depending on oneself is nv enuff to fight off this temptations.. argh.. is this tormenting? yes n even more if we can't even protect ourself from doing things we dun wanna do anymore.. hiaz.. i can't think of much to get away or hung up the call from Mr Devil, but well just have to refused to think that runny nose n headaches are symptons of addiction, and stay away from people who smokes at least we are clear from tempting ourself.. humph..had been doing these n guess i'll be doing that for quite some time.. i just dun wanna have the mindset of being strong enuff to had overcome this temptation or even the addiction, afraid that this will cause myself to fall.. bro n sis in christ whom had read this do keep me in prayers, supporting me in my fight against the devil's plot, to be strengthen in his hands n living a life that he delights.

seems like i had spend almost an hour writing that, it is 5:10A.m. now.. n alarm clock is ringing everywhere & so is my mouth's yawning..!

aright gonna stone here awhile ...'stone'.. 'stone'..... 'stone'. 'stone'... 'stone'...... 'stone' ...... dunno wad else to write le.. life's peaceful with no interruption haha yep yep watched Howl's Moving Castle, review? mm.. it is a nice show worth watching but storyline is too magical liao uptill now i still dun understand.. hahahaha.. oki.. tt's all for my reviews dun wanna be a spoiler here.. :D .... i m very tired.. should i go to sch? yawnz~~YaWNz~...~~Y@wnA.~~....yAwNZ~...y@wnZ...~~ in addition to the yawing! is growling.. hee'hee hungry!! hungry!! hungry!!... argh it is raining HEAVY cats & HEAVY dogs..oOh such a good weather to sleep..but.... ......... humph.... .........

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE !!
"zao qi de niao'er you cong chi.. oh" psst psst... "zao qi de cong'er bei niao chi!!" ....! ni yao zao qi mar?

THE TIME NOW IS 5:24A.M. !! hahaha stil remember tt watch? was like a decade back already haha.. ! alright half an hour more to my official wake-up time.. ;0

Here I Am @ 3/02/2005 04:22:00 AM