my own piece of mind

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

hihi( 'i ____ 'i )..

sad

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FROM: rAy

~ curse of the loneli ~
"the curse of the loneli never seems to leave my heart,
wounded in the battles to win a heart,
stood up just to be hurt again,
for never had i given up,
am i stupid?
am i an idiot?
yes, indeed i am.. .. ..
who was never stupid in doing things for the one they love
who had never been hurt much for the one they love
who had not tried to hold on a love that was going to fall
who then will understand my heart that needs to be love?
loneli, u stayed in my heart since i forgot when..
each time i learn to love more i fall deeper n harder..
each time i want to give up u put someone there as if she was meant to be..
each time i fell into the same trap set up by u, loneli..
and now i m tired..
tired, To exhaust the interest or patience..
tt's tired.. to be feeling fatigue.. and yes i am.." can i climb up again?

ever heard of the story about a boy who went searching for a rainbow?

in the midst of a growing city a boy was borned into a family, not known to him was the sadness that will follow his birth. he never knew who his parents was till he was 7, bought up by his grandparents living a life of solitude he wants his rainbow. on the day he was awaken by the truth of this world he ran on a journey towards his rainbow.. he searched deep into everywhere a rainbow could hide and all he gets was dissapointment. he took the courage to look for it in the wilderness of the dark, he look for angels to tell him the whereabouts of the rainbow, he stepped into people hearts to ask "where is my rainbow?" he ran into the dark cave away from people to find the rainbow in himself.. and there in the cave he cried and no one was there..

years passed by this boy grew strong, he left the cave again to the place where he once called home, it was torn apart. and home was no longer there to lend him a hand in his search for his rainbow. none the less this boy stand on his own feet, he knows that one day he will find his rainbow.. well, he carried on with his journey, he walked through the faces of earth. he seen good and bad. he seen truth and fake. he seen the hearts of many. but not a sight of his own rainbow and he was back in this cave where he cried years ago. at that very moment he broke down, "why?" he asked. "why? and why?" he asked. "is there no one who can tell me how to find this rainbow of mine?" ... "everyone, people around me are filled with people to care for them, shoulders to lean on, and someone to dry their tears but, where is mine when i needed one?" ... " i tried as hard as they did, i did all i could, but just to be left outside alone?" ... tears gathered around his eyes as he stepped out of the cave, the warmth of the sun hugs him, sun light shone on him.. and came a soft voice from afar "mama, look mama a rainbow..!" .. and he smiled.. that rainbow was from his tears..

rainbow, An arc of spectral colors, that appears in the sky opposite the sun as a result of the refractive dispersion of sunlight. this boy turns 20 this year, and he carrys with him euphoria charms bringing with him joys to everyone and hurts to himself.. a rainbow is not meant for ourself it is to be shared through our own tears that others may smile.. don't go hunting for a rainbow it is nothing but a drop of water, share the rainbow it means much more to see a person smile.

tt's it..... ......
i dun know wad will tomorrow be like, i dunno how long will i live, but i will remember the faces of those who smiled with me, and those who had bought laughters to me..

another long blog huh? .... it is the hols now still another sem to go and i m done with studies.. hiaz..

raytopia: how's life?
rayEuphoria: sianz very sianz recently..
raytopia: how come?
rayEuphoria: argh.. dun ask me i dun wanna say it either..
raytopia: dun ask u!!?? lots more ppl out there will ask u the same qn..!
rayEuphoria: yar i know.. i dun intend to say anything either.. thought of going clubbing but no kaki.. sianz.. i wanna drink alot..!! i wanna the winds to blow on my face blow all troubles away.. i wanna tired myself out so that i can't think of anything and all that i could hear was my breathing, i am still alive..
raytopia: humph.. u r a crazy freako!

FREAKY?? ha.. juz something entertain myself during blogging.. there are so many qn to ans everyday so many thoughts to think about.. to say something logical the brain is the most powerful processor.. alright the time now is 12:10pm of November 10.. humph very sianz.. i wanna go out but where to? with who? humph.. somewhere to bang my head on.. hey hey.. i still got the stress reduction kit with me hahaha.. anybody wants it?? anyway.. listening to F.I.R - liu lang zhe zhi ge.. alright.. too much of rubbish blabbering le.. *hit myself on the head* BanG BanG..!!

hee'hee the time now is 12:15 of November 10.. alright gonna declare i, Ng Jun Yit Raymond hereby declare myself as a lone wolf.. erm i think i had always been one.. argh..!! ;p oki going a lill crazy here.. hee'hee..

alright.. gonna stop blogging here if not i may get more curiousity hunters who read my blogs up till here, KILLED!! hee'hee.. alright.. buaiz.. buaiz..

rAy's feeling:
- broken hearted (will top the feeling list for the subsequent weeks n months*)
- disappointed
- lonely
- sianZation
- bored (gonna catch some spiders soon*)
- hungry (erm.. nope really*)
- sick (a little onli lar*)

Here I Am @ 11/10/2004 10:14:00 AM