my own piece of mind

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

helo(-___________-)*

"A BIG GREY"

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
troubles!!problems!!.. argh all this sux..!! kept telling myself another 10 more months to go dun do anything stupiD for now!! argh.. i had planned to work at the very start of aug din i??.. if i had followed tt plan maybe i won't even end up like this.. sux.. i hate this.. hiaz.. argh.. raymond be more pratical will yer!!!!!! i hate myself sometimes for thinking that everything will go well but now everything seems to topple over.. the free lance job?? no news..!! hiaz.. i felt like shouting to the open sea.. (* humph quite miss doing that.. )

my wAy of winding oFF:
- ) play basketball (roughly)
- ) swim
- ) cycling (speeding)
- ) head to the beach (* hadn't do that for a long time.. used to have a usual spot)
- ) clubbing (drinking...........)
- ) get myself laugh over heels and toes to forget the misery deep below..
- ) go BLANK!! brain dead!!
- ) go to orchard and have a tiring day walking here n there..!! but had nv bought any stuff..!!
- ) take a shower and stay in there as if i m asleep in the bathroom
- ) dun get to do any of those above!!?? i'll bang my head on the wall (* erm had nv reach this point)

but seems like today i had not wind off yet.. maybe coz i knew that no matter how i wind off this time it will still be the same tml??..or maybe it had been like this for the past 3yrs so no point winding off?? i m sick of trusting things that i shouldn't.. having believe in things that bought me a moment of delight.. pls!! STOP BEING NAIVE & WAKE UP!! a bloody fool i am.. "who will understand?, who knows?, who cares?" oh god are u there? .. for 3 yrs, each and every month.. this problem haunts me..i m tired, very tired.. can i leave it to u..?

listening to: leong jin ru <> disc2

Here I Am @ 8/25/2004 09:53:00 PM